I think I am anti-social, a true invert. I do not like being around people, save for people I like to be around. I’m not certain as to why. I think my mother is the same way, it is certainly possible I either “inherited” or “learned” such behavior from her. I have a hard time being around people at the Masjid. For example, last time I went to the Masjid, some “brother” started an argument with me about the view that the drinks in the Arab lands that contain a small alcohol content are permitted. He argued that it was najaasah, and you can probably see where the discussion left of at. Khamr = intoxicant etc.
So after defending the stance, he tells me “Brother! Some Speech is Magic!” What do you say to such an individual? Proof, and proper defense of an issue is all of a sudden “magic“. What if he had refuted me, then I threw on him his last ditch of an argument that his speech was magic! Even when the other brothers were trying to correct him, he threw a big hissy fit and whined about how I am simply able to “manipulate” words so that it sounds like truth! So I got up and walked away.
I sometimes see the old “pseudo-salafis” that I used to defend. Now giving me salams is a crime of the highest order! An algerian “salafi” in this community, upon seeing me, never ceases to begin a new debate! Why can’t I just go to the masjid and make my Salah, leave, and no one bother me! I seriously hate going to Masajid. I hate dealing with people that are stupid.
Then there was the time I went to Jumu’ah at a “newer” Masjid that was recommended to me by some people. The “Imam” starts ranting and raving about how celebrating the Prophets birth is a stinking Bid'ah, and anyone who does it is a fool. “Did the Nabi do it?” “Bring me a single proof the Sahabah did it!” I really wanted to stand up and start hounding on him. Instead, I had to sit and listen to a wahhabified wacko go on for 30 minutes about how the Nabi never commemorated his birth - an obviously LIE! Liar Liar pants on fire! I debated with myself if I should go up to him after the khutbah and “question” him, but then I realized something. I would be doing what I hate other people to do to me! Let the man rant, let him be upon his wahhabified bida’ah. Maybe one day Allah will place basirah in his heart! Just Maybe!
Then there is the kuffar I work with. Where do I start with my Jarh? Anyhow, this community has made me negative, or at least I have allowed it to. I once was an optimist, but now, I prefer to stay in my home, amongst my books and birds, and enjoy their company. Books do not complain! Wives do though!
Note to Abu Usaamah and other miskin bachelors: get a submissive bedouin woman who never talks.
I hate the status quo - but at the same time I like my simplicity. I eat, sleep, do what I can of deen, read and research, occassionally play with Zaki or Layth, and bada bing bada boom, that’s it. I just hate being around people. There is, however, some individuals I actually like being around. Sidi Stickley was a cool bro to talk to, and I am the one who initiated the convo! Imagine that, a social invert starting a conversation!
Then there is Abu Usaama, who I really don’t hang around with, because he is in California. But he doesn’t talk much, and when he does, its kinda interesting. He’s also a social invert, and hates people. He may ask me an off the wall question, or remind my of my “Free” days when I used to dream about having slaves or some bedouin wife who never spoke unless spoken to! Or how I used to dream of four wives or other youthful dreams…
There is Hammam, who is still trying to find himself. He understands me. That’s what I need, understanding. There is Sas, who I can no longer be around. Seriously, sas understood me. He never nagged me, or discussed something I didn’t want to discuss. We had awesome discussions, and almost always agreed. Though his ear thing is horridly disgusting and haunts me to this day! I lived in the basement with him! What interesting times those were, eating flying pizza, going to masjid umar! I like communities Im not a part of. No one harasses me. No one bothers me. Its just some outsider, oh salams, bye bye now type of conversation…
Then, there is Ibn Ahmed. I don’t even get to see the guy anymore. Though discussions with him are interesting. Then there is Imam An-Nawawi, the guy who keeps me inline. I read his adhkaar often, its nice. I look over his Sharh of Sahih Muslim occasionally, just to see what he has to say. He has a lot to say! And its worth saying.
Ok, I’m done for today. Salams out…
Abul Layth said: “There is Sas, who I can no longer be around. Seriously, sas understood me. He never nagged me, or discussed something I didn’t want to discuss. We had awesome discussions, and almost always agreed. Though his ear thing is horridly disgusting and haunts me to this day! I lived in the basement with him! What interesting times those were, eating flying pizza, going to masjid umar!”
Why exactly can you not be around me?!
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