Through The Mind's Eye: To marry educated or uneducated women? (Part 6)
By: Maged Thabet Al-kholidy
Firstly, I am really sorry for not publishing my column in the last Thursday's issue because I was somehow busy. Then, I would like to thank Mr. Adel Hassan who responded to the series of my topic "to marry educated or uneducated women?'' in his article entitled "Educated women: between misunderstanding and misbehavior" which was published last week, issue No. 1183. In his article, Adel shed light on an important point which is how men look at some cases of educated women, and accordingly they generalize any negative aspects of such cases for all educated women.
Actually I like Mr. Adel's points of view, though I have some comments on some of them. These comments are not only for Adel but for all those who are interested in the topic.
Adel refers to our Prophet's (PBUH) saying that: "Educated individuals belong to the soil of wisdom". That is right, but that is not restricted to only one gender (male or female).
This reference was to respond to those who "Misunderstand" women in their behaviors. The two examples that Mr. Adel gave of this misunderstanding are: 1. educated women will be like "controlling ministers" at homes, and 2. it will be easy for such women "to make relations with more than 100 guys".
Though Mr. Adel rejected the idea of generalizing this concept of educated women, I am against his point of view in the sense that even if it is generalized, there are reasons behind that. When the educated women become like ministers at homes, it is not always something negative. Such women do many things good for homes, children and above all for husbands. They turn to ministers, or it is better to say behave like ministers, because they realize many things related to life around them, not because they are bad and must be avoided as wives, but because they became aware and enough acquainted with this-and-that of life. They, thus, behave confidently, doing best to safe and serve marriage life. In spite of this, some husbands look at this point negatively.
Adel also refers to those who claim that educated women may have relations with guys easily. Again he rejected the idea of generalizing this for all women. It is good, but Adel may have forgotten that they do this because the environment of study that sometimes requires so.
They, moreover, make such relations, not away from our social and religious conventions, regardless of some exceptions.
That is to say, university girls make relations with boys but these relations are not necessarily bad or immoral. Mr. Adel and myself also were university students, for example.
Of course, we came across many relations with ladies. But such relations were marked with respect, morality so that we dealt with ladies as if they were sisters to us. So all people have to know that it is not the fault of such women, but it is the requirement of study which helps the two genders to trust each other and to understand, not to misunderstand, the relations that take place between them.
In the last part of my series I shed light on how men deal with women from different angles. I insisted upon the idea that when men are educated they easily accept many behaviors of educated women and vice versa. But the case will be different if one of the couple is educated and the other is not. So, it is better to deal with matter from this point at least at current time at which many traditional conventions are still dominant in our society.
Adel's preference of marrying educated woman is somehow convincing and logical. But again it is so only to those who are educated and know the nature of educated women, while uneducated men may reject the idea and take it as a sensitive matter.
In brief, I do thank all those who responded to my articles, appreciating their participations, taking them into account seriously. I also call all of you, dear readers, to suggest new topics which can be valuable for all the society, and convey something about our culture for readers abroad.
Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy is a contributing opinions writer form Taiz. He holds a Masters Degree from the English department at Taiz University and is the former editor of Taiz University's English-language magazine. E-mail: email@example.com
From Issue: (1171), Volume 16, From 10 July 2008 to 13 July 2008 to Issue: (1187), Volume 16, From 4 September 2008 to 7 September 2008
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